In parallel with her newly released book “My Own Words,” Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote an article for the NY Times where she offered advice for living.
One useful tip given by her mother-in-law on her wedding day was the following:
“In every good marriage, it helps to be a little deaf.”
Can you smell what the justice is cookin?
As a faculty leader for Coach University, I’m currently teaching a class on listening.
Active Listening is ICF Core Competency #5 and described as:
Focusing completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, understanding the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires, and supporting client self-expression.
As a professional coach, when I have a coaching conversation with a client, it’s imperative I listen to everything that’s said, not said, and how it’s said i.e. tone, pace, inflection, volume, etc. My ears need to be attentive and ready all the time!
However I’ll agree with Justice Ginsburg in that there are many instances while with a family member, friend, significant other, it pays to just let some things go.
You’re anticipating a special family gathering. You cringe at the thought of running into Uncle Harry whose a Trumpster. You’ll have to listen to him pontificate how the Donald is a superior choice for the next POTUS than the email deleting Hillary. Let it go.
How about at work? You hear a not so pleasant remark around the water cooler regarding a new leader about to take the helm. What will you do with that information? Let it go.
Your significant other sticks their proverbial foot in their mouth. You have every reason to pounce on them like a cheetah who has come upon an ailing gazelle in the open plains with nowhere to go. Easy pickins right? Heh, let it go.
Yes I know, it’s hard to let it go. But give it a try. You might surprise yourself and maybe, just maybe, your world will become a lot less complicated and significantly happier.