What do you do with your thoughts? Are you in control or being controlled? A few suggestions on managing thoughts later.
Decades ago I’d get hung up on the little stuff.
I was the poster boy for wanting to control people or situations out of my dominion. This persona zapped my energy. Not useful. Luckily I found coaching and my world did a 170. Because of the coaching profession, I’m a much better human being.
Conversely, whenever big stuff hits the fan, I’m the calm in the middle of the storm. Granted, many situations are still out of my control however I choose who I want to be in the moment. I’ve been this way as far back as I can remember. It’s part of my DNA.
In the heat of a sensitive situation, the majority around me dive into an emotional tailspin. Their thoughts lead to other thoughts which bubbles emotions to the surface which triggers unwanted behavior which usually ends up in -anxious city.-
During a coaching conversation, I raise and deepen the awareness of the clients thoughts. My clients are cookin a half dozen meals at the same time. The coaching convo allows them to hit the pause button, slow down, and focus on what’s really important. A trained coach listens to the client’s thoughts without emotional attachment to the outcome.
Thoughts are just that. Thoughts.
The average person has 50K-70K thoughts a day; 35 – 48 thoughts per minute. That’s a lot of musing goin on.
We have a choice as to what to do with these ruminations. Whatever we decide, our thoughts will take us exactly where we want to go.
Where your focus lands, your focus expands.
What can you do with these drive by thoughts?
- Take notice of what your body is telling you.
- Hit the pause button, and slow down.
- Take a few deep breaths. Believe me, it helps.
- Change the energy. Smile, go for a walk, listen to a favorite song, or simply change your story. Anything to put you in a different state.
In regards to changing your story, do “The Work” by Byron Katie and answer Four Questions:
- Is it true? (If no, go to step 3.)
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
- How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without this thought?
The final step is to turn the thought around. Find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true for you in this situation.
The Four Questions puts me in a neutrally charged place from which I can calmly, in a controlled state, hopefully make a good decision.
Thoughts become things, choose the good ones. ~ Mike Dooley
Give the The Four Questions a try and let me know what happens.
Or do something better that works for you. What has worked for you?
Ooo, what’s that? A thought? OK, I think I’ll go have a cupcake and a cup of joe.
Photo by Amella Wells.