This week Kelvin Ringold, my photographer, will do his magic and create a new headshot for my websites End Game Business and Steve Borek Career Coaching. (Kelvin is also an inspirational speaker. Check it.)
To prepare for the shoot, I visited Danyell, my fave hairdresser for the last 10 years. I hopped into her chair on a virtually empty salon on an idle Tuesday.
After exchanging the proverbial -what’s new with each other- I switched the topic.
“Danyell, how long have you been cutting hair?” I asked in a nonchalant curious way.
“Twenty years” she replied as she snipped and shaped my mane.
“What’s the most important thing you’ve learned over the last two decades? Not necessarily about cutting hair. More about people’s behavior?” I asked as I watched us, client and professional, in the mirror.
“People don’t care about what you think. They’ll ask you your opinion. When you tell them, they’re usually disappointed” Danyell replied with a smile, scissors clipping away not missing a beat.
I’m sure you’ve had a similar experience or two. Hm?
She went on to share a story about a customer who brought in a photo of a model with a chichi hairstyle she absolutely had to have.
“I want my hair to like this” the customer said with excitement.
Danyell gazed at the impeccable coiffure and took a beat. “Are you willing to do the work required to keep it looking like that?” Danyell said to the customer sitting there visualizing her new persona.
The short answer was no.
The client wasn’t willing to put in the laborious time and effort, day in and day out, to continue to look like the airbrushed magazine pic.
We all have clients who arrive dressed in the Dollar Store Drive Thru package. They’re willing to spend bank on the “I Dream of Jeannie” solution though not willing to do what’s necessary to achieve their desired endgame.
I don’t have an “I Dream of Jeannie” solution. Any coach who says they do, run the other way.
I’m in the business of sustainable change.
Clients come to me with behaviors. They have certain ways of doing things. Some good, some not so good. More importantly, they’ve been behaving this way for a long time. Sometimes decades.
It would be unprofessional of me to tell a client I can provide magical instantaneous life altering chimerical shifts.
This doesn’t mean clients aren’t able to achieve swift meaningful change over a short period of time. I’m not saying that.
What I am saying is to create sustainable change, the client must be willing to invest in themselves and modify their behavior over an extended period which eventually leads to an upleveling of performance.
I’ve experienced this with my clients, time and time again.
Sustainable change:
- Takes sweat equity
- Builds character
- Requires consistent action
- Demands patience
- Changes you forever
- Sticks
What are you willing to change?
Today, what are you willing to do differently?
What’s one small action step you’re willing to commit to over the next seven days?
If none of this works, visit your hairdresser. Everything feels better after a haircut.
Photo courtesy of Marco Raaphorst.
Nice post, coach! Lasting change does take work, and more importantly it takes a willingness to change. Once that willingness is in place you are excellent at helping facilitate it in an empowering way. Thank you — and thank you for the mention.
Hola Kelvin!
You’re welcome.
First, I’ve been here. I’ve made recommendations to places only to either have them not do any of it or want it in a quick and easy package that won’t take. It’s frustrating but what can you do?
Second… I keep thinking about the question you asked about an action to take over the next 7 days… though mine wouldn’t start until Monday. I honestly don’t know. However, I do know that last year, July ’14 to be more exact, I decided to take an action that I was going to start walking to get my health issues under control. I’ve kept up with that ever since then and seen a dramatic improvement across the board. This proves I can do it; now I need a next step… just have to figure it out.
Mitch, your decision to start walking was important. The health benefits are priceless.
And, you inspired me to start walking this past winter and I feel so much more healthier. Thanks for getting me out of the starting gate!
Cool! Man, if I only knew more people like you… and could get them to pay me… lol
Wouldn’t that be a nice biz.
In your business, Steve, as in so many aspects of life, most people are not willing to put in the work, no matter what the work might be. It’s so much easier to buy a lottery ticket, pray, whine about unfairness or just hope for the best. But all of that gets you nowhere.
People who are willing to do the work see the glory. And they’ve likely earned every bit of it.
Thanks Susan. I’m sure you’ve had experiences with similar clients.
After coaching hundreds and hundreds of people, I get a sense for which ones are willing to put in the work. More importantly, after getting to know them better, I understand what will drive them to finally achieve their endgame.
Love it. When people ask me the “how did you” questions they usually don’t like the answer. Because it involves long, long hours and setbacks and recover, and more grit. One of my favorite quotes is from Thomas Edison, “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
Thanks Karin. Edison had so many great quotations.
Elizabeth Holmes, CEO and Founder of Theranos, named their big project “Edison” because she knew they would fail thousands of times but on try 1,001 they’d break through. Love it!