It’s Saturday afternoon. I’m sitting at home on a cold, blustery, snowy Syracuse winter day, sipping a Cacao smoothie, smelling the aroma of a stick of Goloka Nag Champa incense, listening to Yoga Radio on Pandora.
I’m anxious about tomorrow because I’m leaving on an early Sunday morning flight to the province of Saskatchewan for training. Another cold, blustery, and snowy place. 😉 Lucky me!
By the end of next week, I’ll be a certified facilitator, authorized to teach organizations how to do what I do. Use the coach approach to increase the performance of individuals and their teams. More on this soon.
Photo courtesy of angelocesare
Today’s post is about an essay written by Amy Morin LCSW I found very interesting: “Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid.” My experience has demonstrated the most successful people are mentally tough and have well developed emotional intelligence muscles.
Here’s Amy’s listicle followed by my talking points and experience in working with mentally strong clients:
1 – They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
Life is not a dress rehearsal. You get to do this once. Successful people understand life is not fair. It’s a game to be played with gusto. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. In the end, they hope it all evens out in the end.
2 – They Don’t Give Away Their Power
Mentally sound people don’t allow others to control them with unnecessary monkey mind talk. Blaming others for their circumstances. Waiting for others to change before they change. These internal convos are kept to a minimum with the mentally tough.
3 – They Don’t Shy Away From Change
Shaking things up is the way the mentally sound person rocks and rolls. Challenging the process is one of the five exemplary practices of great leaders. Status quo has no place in the mentally strong persons world.
4 – They Don’t Waste Energy On Things They Can’t Control
This is easier said than done. Though the mentally strong find a way to shift their attitude to a positive outcome in every situation. They’re usually the calm in the middle of the storm. The anchor, if you will.
5 – They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
Although they’re professional and always try to do the right thing, mentally sound people realize, you can’t make everyone happy. Those upset by the leader’s decision usually has nothing to do with what the leader said or did. The person that’s unhappy is so for other reasons.
6 – They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
One thing mentally sound people do well is make a decision without having all the information. To quote Lyle Lovett, famed singer, songwriter, and actor “I’ve never been ready to do a single thing I’ve ever done in my life. I haven’t been prepared enough, haven’t studied enough, haven’t known enough. You can never be ready. There’s just so much to know.”
7 – They Don’t Dwell On The Past
This is not to say they don’t learn from the past. Would they have done things differently? Probably. As I always say, people are doing the very best they can at the time.
8 – They Don’t Make The Same Mistakes Over And Over
Common sense you say? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people, I’m talking intelligent human beings, repeatedly make the same mistakes. The mentally strong learn from their faux pas.
9 – They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success
On the contrary, the mentally strong crowd seek people who’ve already achieved success and ways to duplicate it.
10 – They Don’t Give Up After The First Failure
Sir James Dyson tested 5,271 prototypes before discovering the bagless vacuum cleaner design that worked. Within two years, he surpassed Hoover in the UK market. Perseverance is the mentally sound person’s mantra.
11 – They Don’t Fear Alone Time
I enjoy my alone time. Sometimes with a quiet book, a run in the woods, or on my mat in yoga practice. These moments are oxygen for my soul.
12 – They Don’t Feel The World Owes Them Anything
Have you known anyone who felt they were entitled? To them, life is unfair. They need to put in their share of sweat equity like everyone else.
13 – They Don’t Expect Immediate Results
There’s a saying: The long way is the short way and the short way is the long way. Meaning, there are no shortcuts. Everyone wants the “I Dream of Jeannie” solution. A cross of the arms, a blink of the eyes, and nod of the head only plays on TV sitcoms.
Wonderful listicle Amy!
What’s your thoughts? Tell me in the comments section below. Grazie.
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A great list. I love number 12, I see people get stuck there and waste the time they could be using to work torward what they want.
True. They spin their wheels, using lots of energy going nowhere.
Enjoy your Sunday Karin.
Just as Karin went in for the 12th point. My favourite was the point immediately after tye 12th one.
Expecting immediate results isn’t of course the main aim of successful people.
Successful people have patience. Thanks Emmanuel.
That is a great list Steve. #6 is the only one I think I still have to work on but man, I’ve got the rest of them down pat. Now if I can only get to that really successful level I’ll be good to go. LOL!!!
Hey, hope you’re enjoying your training and I’m really excited for you.
~Adrienne
Glad to hear that Adrienne.
What’s something you can do differently to get more comfortable with #6?
Hey Steve,
This is definitely a great share! I read this about a month ago. I do have to say that from this list, I could see how much I grown since I graduated from college some 15 years ago. I surely have came a long way! But I know this isn’t the and still more room to grow. Thanks for sharing!
You’re welcome Sherman.
Knowing you have more upside says the best is yet to come!
Good one Steve, and I think I know everyone else here today! lol I think the one I have the most problems with is #3. I do change from time to time but I seem to wait until that critical moment to do it instead of always being ready for it. What’s funny is that I was always geared at the “change” guy before I started working for myself, and now I’m the steady guy more often. Gotta keep pushing forward daily; great stuff.
There’s that word “Pushing” again! ;-p
Let’s hope everything flows for you in 2014 Mitch!